I don’t smoke pot. In fact I don’t use drugs of any kind these days, so when I encountered a protest march going down Market Street here in San Francisco, a demonstration for medical marijuana and against the Drug Enforcement Agency, I took it all in from the sidelines. I…

Adam Ezerski, Blow Jobs and Ernie-Aid
Everyone’s abuzz about the latest gay serial killer passing through town. Is that him? Is he cute? Has he gone? Is he still here? A friend of mine went to a bar in the Castro last night and the place was empty. Like nobody was there except a handful of…

The First Time
As I drove into work today I was listening to Renel in the morning on Kiss FM and she put on Betty Wright’s “Tonight is the night (You Make Me a Woman)”. Betty wanted us all to take a little trip back with her and think about our very first…

Assorcism
So Choire, you’re really getting cruised by Hasidic Jews on the internet? I remember when I lived in the Tenderloin, right off Trannyhooker Circle, and there were more than their fair share of Hasidic Jews circling the block for hours in their sensible cars. It kind of makes ya wonder,…

Ernie-Aid Special Guest Star: Peter
Peter’s a super-dooper trooper! He’s the greatest confused straight boy ever. On behalf of Peter and East/West I’d like officially welcome you to ErnieAidPalooza! It’s time to rock to save the gaysians and there is no one better to do it than our favorite guy from one of our favorite…

Starry Night
When I was in the sixth grade we had a crazy music teacher. She would come in once a week to teach us music which usually consisted of endless work on do-re-mis and ta-ta-tee-tee tas. One day she brought a phonograph with her and a picture of Vincent Van Gogh’s…

Ernie-Aid Special Guest Star: Nancy
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome my favorite lesbian and new best friend – Nancy from jillmatrix.com with today’s very important message: We’ve all seen them. Out-of-work web developers with their pleading signs: “Will provide development, testing and support services for web-enabled applications, either Intranet- or Internet-based, for food.” Often we…

Synchronicity
It was the kind of day that makes you want to lick it’s cotton candy sticky sweetness from your fingers. 90 degrees and everybody running around showing skin. The sun roof was open and I was sharing the sounds of cLOUDDEAD with everyone whether they liked it or not. The…

Ernie Aid Special Guest Star: Ashley
Hello, and thank you all so very much for coming. I am Ashley Alderdice, you may know me from my PuppetMaster win, or from my website frostyfx.com. Today, we are gathered here to help change one of the most important problems the world faces today: Starving Gaysians. We’re starting close…

I See Dead People
When I was a child I used to see horrific things in the house I grew up in, things that would leave me screaming in the middle of the night. My parents would come in almost nightly to explain that there is no such thing as ghosts, and no, there…

Welcome to the Island of Niue
As you may or may not already know, Choire and I threw it all in a U-Haul and left Blogspot.com a few days ago and we’ve relocated to our very own domain located on the tiny little island of Niue No, we’re not actually on the island silly, we just…

I Was a Teenage Puppetmaster!
Ok, while it is true that I’ve been incredibly busy this past month, I did still find time to blog. The only difference is I was doing it over here for the past month on a game called Puppetmaster. I thought when it started I could keep blogging both places,…

My Worst Job Ever
Here’s a little something I’m adding here by popular request. You can file it over in the “Worst Job Stories Ever” department: The temp agency had given me the address. Getting off the bus I was surprised to find a house rather than a business. I knocked on the door…

Philo’s Angels
In Jr. High school I was obsessed with Charlie’s Angels. My best friend Billy and I both had the same matching yellow t-shirts featuring Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith and Kate Jackson. My allowance was blown on Tiger Beat Magazines in order to cut out their latest pictures and place them…

Purity
I think of the cool summer breezes I have been missing while completing my year end report writing manifesto. I live in a magnificently tragic city dripping in decoupage and art deco buildings. Oakland is a city to be savored with all of one’s senses. As my winding down period…