So Choire, you’re really getting cruised by Hasidic Jews on the internet? I remember when I lived in the Tenderloin, right off Trannyhooker Circle, and there were more than their fair share of Hasidic Jews circling the block for hours in their sensible cars. It kind of makes ya wonder, doesn’t it? And yeah, you are the kind of guy who would flip everybody off and throw cigarettes at them on your way across town to give a non-profit that dollar you forgot to pay them. You’re a dichotomy, but then isn’t everybody? I won’t order that coffee shop sandwich because it’s so high in fat, then I’ll stand outside smoking a cigarette while they fix me a salad. Hey, can you hurry it up? I’m trying to get healthy out here!

And you can go on about that new hot New York City band The Strokes all you want, but I’m still singing the praises of San Francisco’s own: The Roofies. With tunes like Assorcism you know you’re getting the Bay Area’s very best.

I think I might be in need of an assorcism. I’ve been sitting and writing all day and to be honest my buns are getting tired. Last night after a long day at work I went straight to psychic school where I sat on my ass for four straight hours. I sure could go for a buttocks massage right about now. I hope it’s just tension and not, y’know, well, gosh, gee. I hope it’s not anything serious. Maybe I just need to get out there and shake it!